Talia Brava Retires From Comedy
Nothing is funny - Talia Brava
It’s a black box theater full of people who ate dinner standing up. Talia Brava is deep into a coaching intervention with a man named Jesse- her first crushes name so it’s kinda hot- healing his sick relationship with his mom who doesn’t like him. “Wanna make out?” she states more than asks. “Yes.” Hot Coals (Seth Allison) - Talia’s drag-bestie moans orgasmically. John Wyatt- her self-proclaimed stalker and staff member- lets out a squeak cry and heads off stage. Talia confidently makes out hard core with Jesse. He returns to his lollipop and sits down, feeling Wow! So Alive!(tm). “I’m every woman. You just made out with your mother.” And just like that, Jesse is Healed AF.
Is this a comedy show? Is this the most transformational experience since Good Will Hunting? Yes ... And ;) (comedy people joke).
For the past year, Talia Brava has been taking the comedy world by storm- first with The Tony Robbins Netflix Special Special - a personal growth event using tools she learned watching that Netflix documentary on Tony Robbins- and now with Wow! So Alive! - a personal growth series with trainings like “Women Lead Now!”, “Think Good!” and “Healed AF.”
The comedy community is a great place to meet broken, desperate people- my ideal clients.
When Talia’s now ex-boyfriend and professional partner Shawn Stoner surprise broke up with her, she didn’t wait for the wounds to heal before exploiting them on stage for comedic and personal growth monetization. Now- emotionally indebted to her- Shawn is the most loyal member of her unpaid staff.
Until this morning in Hot Yoga. “I’m retiring from comedy” she announced head crotch deep in Yoganidrasana. “The comedy community is a great place to meet broken, desperate people- my ideal clients.” says Talia, really sweaty up in her own butt. “It’s been my launch pad to getting people to give me money to fix them. But: Nothing is funny. Not my work saving lives. Not comedy people. Seriously- not at all. It’s painful to be around all of them.” Her eyes settle on her own vagina. The teacher is gesturing for her to stop talking.
And just like ‘03 Jay-Z- Brava has retired from comedy. “What’s next?,” No one asks her.
“I want to step fully into the seat of the spiritual cult leader for the next generation. If you know of Ayawaska communes, hippie squats, deserts where people go to experience coincidences- hit me up.” She’s being asked to check in with the front desk- she forgot to pay.
Talia Brava is available for bookings at your next personal growth event.